Chapter 6

The Deep Heart

Stepping Back from, into, and Through Experience

There are two complementary ways to be with our inner experiences whether they take the form of thoughts, feelings, sensations or some combination of these.

The first way is to step back completely taking refugee in and as pure awareness.

The other way is to step right through and into the experience where it is sensed in the body.

Stepping back is the movement of dis-identification and corresponds to a transcendence approach to life.

Stepping into experience and fully embracing corresponds with an imminent and tantric approach.

Stepping back

Being able to step away from the content of our experience to its context in other words the infinite space of loving awareness encourages feelings of spaciousness, freedom, clarity and peace no matter what we are experiencing we are always aware of it. Everything that is happening in us is open awareness.

For example, whenever you have a thought you must be first aware of it. For example I am aware of thought or I am thinking.  Prior to any thought is the I am.  Awareness proceeds thought even if we don’t consciously recognise it.  We can never have a thought without being implicitly aware.

A quiet background presence is always available with a slight shift of attention.

At any moment we can abide as content less awareness.

Recognising this is tremendously freeing simply knowing and be, at any moment.

Our essential freedom is always available.

Without awareness there is no world. What we experience as our world is simply a construct.

We can always fall back into and take refuge in awareness as infinite space.

Our essential freedom is always available when we are able to fall back and witness it from a more expansive perspective.

Thoughts, feelings and sensations come and go but our awareness remains.

This awareness allows us to loosen our grip on identity. What is it that never comes or goes. Could this be what I really am?

An emptying out of illusions and disillusionment.

We are not the contents of our consciousness in fact we are not any “thing” at all.

We are no one, no thing, our true nature cannot be objectified.

We are ultimately undefinable and thus totally free from everything.

This is one of the main tenets of non-dual thinking.

Who I really am is pure awareness or consciousness.

We are invited by the teachings to wake up out of our mis-taken identity and simply be as we are undefined and unconfined by any story, see the liberating power of this realisation.

There is tremendous freedom when we recognise conditioning from spacious awareness, however significant levels of our conditioning remain untouched by this initial mental awakening.

Many people have experienced some degree of awakening from the mind, however they still find themselves acting out many painful patterns of conditioning even as they witness them.

Waking up is not enough, we also need to wake down and in.

Simply put we cannot engage in life if we are disengaged from our experience.

The transcendent approach that emphasises dis-identification is rarely enough to touch and transform conditioning that comes with developmental trauma.

Stepping into and through

If we are interested in being intimate with life and being free to be here we need to be willing to fully step into our experience just as it is.

This means we are willing to uncover and question beliefs about the truth of our limiting subconscious beliefs.  Fully feel our feelings and completely sense our sensations.

So when necessary, carefully attend to our experience.

Isn’t conditioning endless – yes

Isn’t there a chance of being sidetracked to some self improvement process – yes

Isn’t there a risk of postponing the recognition of our inherent freedom – yes

Isn’t it easy for the ego to re engage using psychospiritual methods – yes

Clearly the path of immanence also has its pitfalls just as the path of transcendence can be co-opted by the separate sense of self to avoid or dissociate from life.

Both paths have their important roles to play and also come with their limitations.

This is why self honesty is so important.

The more we are able to be quiet and tune into our heart wisdom the clearer our guidance will be.

The Tantric view sees both the changing and unchanging sides of life as being real and embraces life’s dynamic expressions rather than subtly devaluing them.

The Tantric approach treasures our bodies as essential expressions of reality.

In John’s opinion the Tantric approach offers a more balanced view embracing both the form and formless dimensions of our experience as well as the masculine and feminine dispositions.

Basic steps in exploring our conditioning:

1. Start from spacious presence as much as possible.
2. Be willing to be intimate with your experience rather than trying to change or get rid of it.
3. Enter through the body not the mind.
4. Allow time to both feel your feelings and sense your sensations.
5. Inquire what is at the core of this feeling or sensation.
6. Ask is there a core limiting belief that goes with this, what is my deepest knowing about this belief.
7. Let in the shift and understanding.

1. Tapping into spacious presence

Sit quietly, take a few deep breaths, notice your present experience and then notice you are aware of your experience. Shift your attention to this awareness, into the feeling of an expansive intimate field. Rest in and as this awareness, knowingly sense your body has a vibrant form in open spaciousness. Feel into the warmth and openness of the heart area. 

2. Be willing to be intimate with your experience rather than trying to change or get rid of it

The more you want to change or get rid of your experience the stronger the resistance you will encounter. Check your agenda at the door, just be open to what is here in the moment, innocently exploring it. The point is to become intimate with what is here not to change it. Trust when there is a real meeting, transformation will unfold. Fornow it is enough to be feeling and understanding something new. The rest will take care of itself. The more that we accept ourselves as we are the more open we are to natural change.

3. Enter through the body not the mind

Generally more useful to approach our experience through feelings and sensations rather than our thoughts. Where is the feeling felt most acutely in your body, if there are multiple areas pick one to focus on and breathe into it.  Does it have a texture, a shape, be curious and open.  Let go of any judgements that you should not be feeling what you are feeling, doing so only creates distance. If you don’t feel anything it was probably because it was too emotional to do anything at the time. If you are out of touch with the feeling, pay attention to feelings in your body especially those in the interior of your chest and belly. If you don’t recognise what you are feeling breath and sense into your experience until you do.

4. Allow time to both feel your feelings and sense your sensations

Our experience is constantly changing, often in subtle ways. Take a few minutes to just feel and sense what is here now. As you pay attention you may notice a slight shift in your feelings and sensations. They may dissolve on their own as you receive them in the simple light of presence. Deeper levels may unveil themselves or areas of numbness may start coming to life, let the experience unfold

5. Inquire what is at the core of this feeling or sensation

It is useful to introduce this question after we have allowed our feelings and sensations to be as they are for a few minutes. We innocently pose the question and then let go. This step usually leads to increased intimacy with our experience. 

6. Ask is there a core limiting belief that goes with this, what is my deepest knowing about this belief

If a contraction does not start to soften or unfold via the previous steps it is almost always because a core belief is holding it in place. This is the right time to pose this question. Bring attention to the heart area and drop in this question. Listen without going to the mind for an answer.

7. Let in the shift and understanding

We need to learn from it and let it wake us up. All of our mental, emotional and somatic reactions are wake up calls, little alarm bells that let us know we are in the  grips of ignorance. Take full advantage of these learning experiences. Slow down and let yourself be saturated by the light of awareness.

Life is both still and moving transcendent and immanent. Our process of awakening and unfolding does not proceed along neat linear stages.

Sometimes our attention is called to rest as open awareness and sometimes is to be intimate with our conditioning. They both support each other.

The more anchored in presence we are, the easier it is to be spacious and loving with our reactions. The fewer reactions we have, the easier it is to steadily abide in our true nature as open awareness.

This is a two-step dance of intimacy that supports two essential forms of freedom: the freedom from our stories and the freedom to live and love creatively in our ordinary lives. Both forms of freedom are equally important.